After the Party, It’s the Afterparty

CAU:2 As much as we followers of award season would love to snag a seat at the Golden Globes, Oscars, Emmys, SAG Awards, et al (in that order), what we’d really love is to be on the list to the glitterati pageant of cocktails and elbow rubbing know as the afterparty.

Just hanging out at the Governor's Ball.
Just hanging out at the Governor’s Ball.

How has coverage of this not happened yet? I know I’ve seen it attempted in the past from the confines of a strictly stanchioned-off area at party entrances, where correspondents desperately try to rope in an interview from celebrities ducking quickly for cover. But that’s not what I’m talking about.

CAU:3 As much as I enjoy morning-after retelling of, “Clare Danes spotted noshing on grass-fed pork belly confit,” or whatever the hell they’re eating at these soirees, I’d much rather be a fly on the wall. In all of their infinite production wisdom, how has Hollywood not figured out how to get a celeb to act as a mole?

One of the TV stations–I’m looking at you E!–needs to take a page from the NFL’s “Mic’d Up” playbook and get attached to someone fun, someone A-list, for an inside glimpse at the afterparty scene. It’s something that could be edited after the fact and receive final approval from the one mic’d up. Risk reduction.

Eric Stonestreet and Sophia Vergara enjoying the festivities.
Eric Stonestreet and Sophia Vergara enjoying the festivities.

If E! seems like they’d only be in it for the most salacious story, which I doubt due to their dependence on the favor of the Tinseltown high and mighty, why not go with a TV personality who has the access that night (especially Emmy night) to engage the upper echelon of the circuit, then use it in their show.

Or HBO, Showtime, AMC, or FX. The Academy of Television Arts & Sciences obviously worships at the altar of the aforementioned stations and HBO and Showtime have played host to Inside the NFL in the past.  Inside the NFL (for those who couldn’t give two licks about football) is a dramatization of the previous weekends games, and let me tell you, the shit is as compelling as an episode of Breaking Bad. They know how to do it, and how to do it right. I’d watch the hell out of that in an obviously less dramatic, more scintillating way.

HBO, you've spent all this ca-ching to throw a party, why not capitalize on the opportunity.
HBO, you’ve spent all this ca-ching to throw a party, why not capitalize on the opportunity.

CAU:4  I realize that after a day of feeling like a peacock at a zoo, the famous and fabulous want to protect the sanctity of the celebratory fetes, but c’mon, you’ve spent all that time and effort in getting ready, why not keep the party going for those of us who, like you, have endured the hours of watching and waiting for the brief titillating moments of authenticity that come with award show watching. From what we see the next day, those moments seem to happen non-stop at the afterparties. C’mon Baby, let us join the fun!

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